Bottled
by bluedragon03
Summary: A collection of un-related one-shots that serve as this years vacation gifts on the theme genies! Pairings Included: Nalu, Colu, Inukag, Rahkbeth
1. Roast Pork- For Emily

***A/N- Tadaa! This years vacation gift theme is genies! This one is for Emily!**

 ***For those of you who are unfamiliar with this tradition of mine, every year I buy my cousin a gift when I go on vacation and I write her a fanfic based on it, I write fics matching that theme for people who I can't give a physical gift too. This year I bought a bottle and decided to do genies.**

 **And a little additional additional note for anyone else reading this, this is just a bunch of random, unrelated, genie aus. Their not like connected or anything.**

 **X x x x**

"Whaddya mean you're a genie?" Natsu asked, looking at the blonde standing in front of him. She blinked a few times, like she didn't understand the question.

"I mean I'm a genie. You have heard of genies, right? You know, three wishes and all that."

"That's so cool!" Natsu said. "Happy what should I wish for?"

"Wish for a big fish dinner!" Happy cried, flying around Natsu's head.

"No way!" Natsu replied. "We had fish yesterday! I should wish for a big roast pig!"

"No way, that's gross! Fish is way better!"

"Nu-uh!" Natsu said, "and it's my wish! So I'm gonna wish for three whole roast pigs!"

Lucy gaped at him, was this guy for real? He was being given the opportunity to wish for anything he wanted in the world, and he wanted _food?_ She snapped out of it when he looked at her expectantly, grinning from ear to ear. She couldn't help but be a bit blinded by its brightness. She snapped her fingers and the three roast pigs appeared.

"Oh yeah awesome!" Natsu said. He immediately ran began tearing into one, while his cat friend tore into another. After a few seconds he looked up at her and seemed surprised to see her still standing there. "Well what're you waitin for, miss?" He said, though she could hardly understand him through his mouth full of pork.

"What do you mean?"

"That one is for you!" He said, gesturing to the last pig. "You look like you like pork!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucy snapped, without meaning too.

"Uh-oh, Natsu, I think you made the lady genie angry."

"My name is Lucy!"

"Well Lucy, you can take your roast pig back inside your lamp with you in case you get hungry later, It was nice meeting you!"

"Wait," she said, "You still have two wishes!"

"You mean it wasn't one pig per wish?"

"You mean you thought you were using all three of your wishes on roast pork?"

"...no." Lucy rolled her eyes. _How simple can you be?_

"You get two more."

"Oh, you should wish for something mean to happen to Gray!" Happy suggested. Natsu's face lit up. With anyone else she would have equated this with all the other times she'd been asked to take out someone's enemy, but this time…

"Oh I know! How about next time he orders something _really_ hot from Mira at the guild she'll trip and spill it all over him!" Lucy blinked twice, then snapped her fingers.

"It's done." Natsu cackled.

"Aw man, Luigi, I wish you could be part of our team, you're great!"

"It's Lucy!" She snapped, not noticing when her silver cuffs fell off.


	2. Worst Client- For Allison

***A/N- For Allison, bc of our shared love of CoLu! Also side note, obviously these one shots don't all take place in the same universe, but I thought I should go ahead and clear that up here.**

 **X x x**

"You're never going to believe who got ahold of my bottle this time!" Lucy complained, lounging on her couch back in her realm.

"Bet they weren't worse than my last client!" Natsu said, sitting up.

"Oh yeah," Lucy challenged, "What exactly would you bet?"

"If your last client was worse than mine, the next time someone finds your lamp _I'll_ take the job."

" _Deal,"_ Lucy said.

"My last client wished to become a snake charmer, and then wished for a THOUSAND cobras, and then a place to keep them! All I could think about was how much fun your boyfriend would have had with that one but there I was, trapped with this lunatic who wanted to own a thousand deadly snakes." Lucy chuckled.

"Erik _would_ have loved that. When he gets back from this job you should tell him about it, he'll be so mad that one found your bottle instead of his!"

"So let's hear about your client, Luce," Natsu said. "They can't possibly have been worse than mine."

"Yours was bad, but I'm totally winning this one!"

"Them's fighting words!"

"Okay so first, the guy who found my bottle chose to find it _right_ in the middle of my beach date with Erik, and there was no time for me to change, so I had to appear to a client in that pink bikini I have."

"Bet he loved that."

"He did, believe me. But that wasn't the worst part! The worst part was the man was a traveller, so his first wish was to visit the pyramids. The Pyramids! And I was in my tiny little bikini! And the sand was so _hot_ and I burned my feet! And it was so windy I got sand burn all over my whole body!"

"That's pretty rough," Natsu conceded, "but sand burn isn't as bad as snake bites! I must have gotten like ten! If I were a mortal I'd have died on the spot."

"Okay so his second wish was to visit the rainforest, again, in my bikini! I must have gotten bitten by every kind of insect there was! And I came face to face with a python! And one of those monkeys with the butts threw poop at me! Don't laugh it's not funny!" Natsu seemed to disagree, he was clutching his stomach, rolling around laughing. "Shut up Natsu!"

"I can't breathe! A butt monkey threw poop at you!"

"I hate you!" Lucy said, kicking him in the side to get him to shut up. "And I have one more wish left!"

"Whaddya mean, didn't he ask to be taken home with his last wish?"

"No!" Lucy said triumphantly. "That's what you _think_ he'd do, but apparently he wasn't happy at home, so he asked me to take him to a white sand beach somewhere, right? Well since he didn't specify it was like rolling the dice, and you'll never guess where we landed."

"Tell me."

"On an island with an active volcano! And right when we arrived the ground started to shake and I looked up and saw the volcano spitting out all of this _ash_ everywhere! I thought I was going to die! And this guy was begging for another wish to get out of there, but you know it doesn't work like that, I couldn't give him another wish, so I just told him to run!"

Natsu's chin was resting on his chest, his mouth was gaping so much. Lucy sat back superiorly, knowing full well that she'd won the bet, which meant that Natsu had to take her next commision.

"What happened to the guy?"

"I don't know," Lucy said, looking guilty, "the volcano started spitting these flaming rocks so it was too dangerous for me to stay, I had to get out of there."

"Man," Natsu said, "talk about a raw deal, talk about unlucky."

"Well, you know, I _did_ give him the standard briefing about the dangers of genie magic and how he needed to phrase his wishes specifically, but he didn't listen."

"They rarely do," Natsu said wisely.

The door to Lucy's apartment banged open and Erik stalked in, soaking wet, clothes torn, and with a branch still in his hair. Natsu and Lucy looked at each other in surprise, then Lucy ventured a question.

"Erik, what happened to you?"

"Worst. Client. Ever."

"Including the one who wanted you to de-haunt his house that ended with you assaulting that poltergeist?" Lucy asked. Erik paused.

"Yes, I'd kick Steve the Ghost's ass any day."

"So what did this client want you to do?" Natsu asked. Erik made to sit down on the chair across from them, but Lucy stopped him.

"No way, you can't sit on my furniture with wet clothes! I just did a load of laundry and saw some of your stuff in there, change into that before you start telling the story." Erik narrowed his eyes at her and let the room, grumbling under his breath. Once he was gone Natsu and Lucy looked at eachother and started giggling.

"Wonder what happened to him?"

"He's been gone a week," Lucy said, "I didn't know what to think, he didn't even come back between wishes."

A few minutes later Cobra waltzed back into the room and plopped back down into the chair he'd tried to sit in before.

"So this client," he said, diving straight into the story, "wished to be a pirate. I real pirate."

"Cool!" Natsu said.

"Figures you'd like that," Lucy joked.

"Well I snap my fingers and he's changed clothes and we're on a pirate ship, except, he didn't say captain, so we appeared in the middle of some _random_ pirate's ship, and then we were staring down the blades of like, twenty swords."

"Oh no!" Lucy cried.

"And I was about to get out of there, but then the guys all like, 'I wish that you would help me take over this ship!'"

"No way, you got into a real pirate fight!"

"So basically, there we are, me doing most of the heavy lifting because this idiot doesn't know how to fight, and I've been ordered to help execute a mutiny."

"So why were you gone so long?"

"Because there were too many of them, and they captured us and threw us in the brig! And I couldn't leave, because I hadn't helped him take over the ship!"

"So how'd you get out?" Lucy asked.

"That guy pulled a nail out of the side of the ship and then used it to open his cell, then mine, then we had to fight _even_ more, and I can't believe it he actually killed the captain and was made then new captain. But he still had one more wish! So this idiot, he doesn't know how to sail! He ran the ship up on this reef and wished for it to be repaired before I could finally come back, but only after running the ship aground threw me into the sea."

Natsu was laughing almost as hard as he had been at Lucy's story, and Erik was looking more and more like he was going to punch Natsu. Lucy decided to intervene, for the sake of her furniture staying intact. She got to her feet and sat instead on the arm of Erik's chair, wrapping her arms around his neck as a distraction.

"I missed you, you were gone forever!"

"Oh ew," Natsu said, "if you guys are going to be gross, I'm leaving."

"Bye," Erik said. Lucy shot Natsu an apologetic look, then blinked.

" _Already?"_ Lucy whined, then grinned when she remembered the bet she and Natsu had made. "I guess you're up already, Natsu."

"Aw, man," he said.

"What's going on?" Erik asked.

"Someone just found my bottle."

"I just got back!"

"But thankfully, we still get to spend some time together because Natsu lost a bet and has to take my next client."

"This sucks!" Natsu said, before blipping out to see what the guy wanted.

Erik smirked. "I guess this is my lucky day."

"I guess so," Lucy replied, tugging on the neckline of his shirt.

 ***A/N- Alright, so there wasn't so much CoLu in this one, but there was fluff with both the OTPs so I guess that one makes up for it XD.**


	3. Nice- For Annette

***A/N- "Aww wow I really miss rude, chapter two Inuyasha!" -No one, ever. Well I made Inuyasha a smart ass here bc it makes for amusing dialogue, lmao. Happy Vacation Gift Annette, lmao I hope you like it.**

 **X x x x**

"Keh, nice wish." The genie scoffed. Kagome raised her eyebrows.

"Nice bedside manner, I didn't think genies were allowed to mock their wishers."

"Yeah well, I ain't yer average genie," the boy replied, somehow managing to look even more cross.

"What's your name anyway, or do you just go by Genie?" Kagome asked, hoping to change the subject, they had gotten off on the wrong foot, but maybe they could still be friends.

"The name's Inuyasha, not that it's gonna matter to you. You're gonna make your last two wishes and then I'm outta here."

"Hey, who say's that I'm going to make my next two wishes right now?"

"Well aren't ya'?" Inuyasha asked, "don't all you teenage girls have like a million things you want."

"Well not this teenage girl!" Kagome protested. "As long as I pass math I'm happy."

"So you aren't going to use your other two wishes to pass the other classes?"

"No, I'm doing well in all my other classes."

"So what else d'you want? There's gotta be something, lady."

"I want you to get some manners," she grumbled.

"What was that?" He asked, looking angry.

"Nothing!" She said hurriedly. "The only other thing I want is for my family shrine to be successful."

"You live on a shrine?"

"Yeah, Higurashi shrine, on the other side of town, my family has lived there for generations."

"Is it doing badly or somethin'?"

"Not necessarily badly, but we don't get many visitors."

"Well one wish could fix that."

"Fine, I wish for my family shrine to be successful."

"Anything else?"

"Um, not really," she said, before an idea struck her. "Is there anything you want?" _Maybe I can finally get on his good side._

"Yeah to be free of this damn bottle so I can stop granting wishes for every damn fool that picks it up," he said, like he hadn't really registered her question.

"Well then I wish for you to be free."

It felt like the energy zoomed out of the bottle she was still holding, an energy she hadn't realized was there until it was gone. His face was still covered in shock when she shoved the bottle into his hands.

"Here, a souvenir, to remind you to be a bit nicer to people," she said, then turned and left, she was late for school.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Inuyasha shouted. Kagome blinked twice in surprise, the doorbell had rang while her family was eating dinner and she'd answered it only to have him shout in her face.

"Um, how did you get here?"

"You told me where you lived," he replied, still looking peeved. "It took me all day to walk here."

"You… walked?"

"Yeah, you left me stranded in an unfamiliar environment with no money and no way to get around."

"Oh, oops. Sorry about that."

"Sorry, that's all you got to say?"

"Umm, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"...What's to eat?"

"Come in and I'll show you, it's not like you have anywhere else to go, and I'll ask mom if you can sleep on the couch, since it's my fault you're homeless now anyway."

"Keh, I'd rather be homeless than in that stupid bottle," he scoffed.

"I guess you can sleep outside then," she said, starting to slide the door closed.

"No, wait! I didn't mean it like that!" Kagome smirked, then opened the door again.

"Alright well come in, and I'll try to think of a way to explain to my family that you're a genie."

"That's easy, I can still use magic, I'll just show them."

"That's great!" Kagome exclaimed. Inuyasha was silent for a moment.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" He asked suspiciously.

"It's just what normal people do, you should try it sometime."

"Keh."


	4. Wake Me Up (Wake Me Up Inside)- For Four

***A/N- Surprise, Four! I didn't do one of these for you last year, but I decided I couldn't not this year, since we came up with so many great crackships, but this one was by far the best. And just so you know, when I asked you what we decided the ship name was for these two it was this, I lied XD.**

 ***EDIT- Putting back the page breaks that ffn took out when I published the first time (and the times I tried to fix it. Hopefully they're there now.)**

* * *

Rahkeid hadn't expected to end up face to face with a _very_ angry looking boy wearing what was either a very large amount of eyeliner or a very small amount of sleep like it was war paint and who was glaring at him like he'd just kicked a puppy. He also had not expected to pick up what he'd _thought_ had been an old lamp thing at a yard sale that he'd thought his father would like because it was black and to have said boy pop out and yell at him for waking him up. He had not expected to end up at a yard sale anyway. Suffice to say Rahkeid was having a very _weird_ day, and he had no idea what to do with the, admittedly very pretty, boy who now seemed to be attempting to murder him with his eyes.

"Well are you just gonna stand there staring all day or are you gonna tell me what you want?"

"...I just wanted to buy a lamp man, not a person."

"So you bought a genie lamp for decoration?"

"I didn't know it was a genie lamp, I just got it because it was black and my dad is kinda emo."

"...so you're saying you woke me up for nothing?"

"I guess so, sorry."

Although he still looked angry, the young man in front of him no longer looked like he wanted to murder Rahkeid, which he was taking as a good sign. Since he _had_ just appeared out of nowhere Rahkeid was pretty sure he was magic and if he wanted to kill him he could.

"So, I'm guessing you don't really know how this works, basically you get three wishes and that's it. No wishing for more wishes and all that shit."

"Umm," Rahkeid said. "I don't really want anything, my dad's kinda loaded so I got pretty much everything I want."

"Oh lucky you, _some of us_ have to work for a living."

"Sucks to be you I guess," Rahkeid said, grinning. The genie narrowed his eyes, and suddenly remembering his earlier fear that this guy might kill him, Rahkeid decided to make peace.

"So, what's your name?" He asked, beggining to walk again and hoping the boy would follow him.

"Macbeth, though some people call me Midnight, because my lamp is black."

"I like Macbeth better, I had a cat named Midnight once."

"So what's your name then, because I ain't going to call you 'master,'" Macbeth asked.

"I'm Rahkeid."

"So, like, you still don't have any wishes?"

"Nope, still rich."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, go back to sleep, do whatever you want, I don't really care."

"Does your dad have food?"

"Yeah."

"I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah me too."

* * *

"Rahkeid who is this strange man in our house?" Zeref asked, stopping when he saw an unfamiliar mop of black and silver hair digging into his refrigerator.

"Mmhy mame ish Macbewfh," he slurred through a mouth full of food. Zeref raised an eyebrow at his son, who was munching down on some chips.

"His name is Macbeth." Rahkeid translated. Zeref looked back and forth between the two of them a few times.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"He wishes," Macbeth said.

"He's a genie," Rahkeid said. "I bought you a lamp for your birthday but this dude popped out so I guess I'll get you something else."

"My birthday was last week."

"Oops."

"Can't fix that," Macbeth commented.

"So he's really a genie or are you just trying to sneak your boyfriend into your bedroom?"

"He's like really a genie," Rahkeid said. "But I think we're going to go watch TV in my room."

"Door open or I'm telling your mother," Zeref commented.

"That's cruel and unusual," Rahkeid shot back.

"I'm the master of darkness," Zeref threw back.

* * *

Rahkeid found that he really liked Macbeth, he was fun to hang out with, when he was actually awake. He slept alot. Sometimes he went back in his lamp for that, sometimes he, his mom, and his dad would find Macbeth asleep in random places. At first it annoyed Zeref, but they all adjusted and started living their lives around him.

Last night while cooking dinner Mavis had opened the cabinet only to have Macbeth tumble out onto the floor. She had stepped over him without reacting and continued on as if nothing had happened. It had only been a few weeks but already he was part of the family. His uncle Natsu had freaked out the first time Macbeth had simply appeared in the living room randomly to ask what was for dinner, but his surprise had passed. So the Dragneel household had moved on and taken Macbeth in as one of their own, and life was good.

* * *

"Hey Rahkeid," Macbeth said. Rahkeid jumped, halfway through putting on a shirt. He turned to find Macbeth lounging on his unmade bed, arms behind his head.

"Where's all your fluff and stuff?" Rahkeid asked, noticing his clothing was substantially less flashy than usual. "And are those my clothes?"

"I spilt soda on mine so your mom gave me some of your clothes and is throwing mine in the wash."

"Of course she is," Rahkeid said, finishing dressing and plopping down next to him. "Won't that fluff get all over everything though?" Macbeth pointed to a large mass of white on Rahkeid's floor.

"It's detachable."

"Who'd have thought that Genie clothes are so practical."

"Who said anything about Genie clothes?" Macbeth said, "I got that at some human market a few centuries ago."

"It's held up well."

"Well it's not like I get to do much."

Rahkeid frowned. Macbeth said things like that sometimes, things that made Rahkeid think that maybe being a genie wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and that Macbeth hadn't had the happiest life. He rolled over onto his stomach and faced Macbeth.

"What's it like being a Genie?"

"It's all unicorns and sunshine," he said sarcastically.

"No, really," Rahkeid said, rolling his eyes. "You always say things like that, like you're not happy."

"Well what's there to be happy about, all I can ever do is use my magic for other people, granting the same idiotic wishes that have the same idiotic outcomes over and over."

"Have you never granted wishes for someone that you liked?"

"Not really, though some of my friends say they've met some cool people, my lamp only ever seems to fall into the hands of people who like to misuse my power." Rahkeid didn't want to know if Macbeth considered him one of those people, so he changed the subject.

"What's it like, inside your lamp?"

"It's this little room, I mean, not that little, I'm not like all cramped up like in the cartoons. I've got some space, but it's still a little maddening to spend the eras in that same space, you know?"

"Can you not just leave and do stuff?" Macbeth shook his head.

"Not unless I have a master." Rahkeid crinkled his nose, that sounded like it sucked. They were quiet for a while, he didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to help Macbeth, but he didn't know how. "I like it here though," Macbeth said, turning his head to face Rahkeid. "I like you." The way he said it seemed loaded, like he meant it more than that. Rahkeid's heart jolted.

"I like you too." They both smiled, and when Macbeth reached out to take Rahkeid's hand it hit him. The gold cuffs that Rahkeid had always assumed were a fashion statement flashed in the light, and Rahkeid remembered the scene from Aladdin where he wished the Genie free.

"What's your problem?" Macbeth asked, as Rahkeid raised himself up on his arms so he was looking down at Macbeth.

"I wish you were free," he said, grinning. Macbeth's eyes widened, and the cuffs split, and fell off. There was a moment where no one moved, and then Macbeth leaned up to kiss Rahkeid on the mouth, making him glad he'd thought to close the door.


	5. Trashy Novels- For Rory

***A/N- Happy vacation gift, Rory. I honestly have no idea what I was doing with this one don't judge me XD XD.**

"Ugh, can't I even get one day off?" Sango complained. "Why can't my bottle get lost down a ravine for a decade like Miroku's did that once?" Kagome laughed.

"I thought he was going to have a heart attack the next time someone found it!"

"Yeah I thought the lazy bum was never gonna have to work again!" Inuyasha huffed.

"Hey, I heard that!" Miroku said, making them all jump.

"Miroku you're back," Kagome said. "Sango was called away while you were gone, apparently her client was awful."

"I had the most wonderful time," Miroku sighed contentedly. "My lamp was found by the most beautiful woman, but she worked on a milk farm, so she wished to marry a kind, rich man while she was still young and to have lots of babies."

"We can't make people fall in love," Kagome reminded him.

"Yes well she didn't wish for love, she wished for marriage, which are two totally different things."

"I suppose," Sango said, "but that's quite the technicality, I wonder how things will work out for her."

"Not the slightest clue," Miroku said, plopping down next to Sango. "It's not my job to worry about outcome, only grant the wishes," he said contentedly.

"You're such a bum, don't you at least advise your clients of the dangers of tampering with magic?"

"Nope."

"You've got to be kidding me," Kagome said.

"Are you sure you're a real genie," Inuyasha asked. "You seem an awful lot like a con artist to me."

"You're too cruel Inuyasha," Miroku said, not sounding hurt at all. "I always give my clients what they ask for."

"You should be more careful, Miroku," Kagome said. "Who knows what kind of havoc you've wrought in the human world. If you give genies a bad name they'll stop using our bottles and then all the work will dry up. You wouldn't want to be to blame for the fall of the genies, right?"

"I suppose you're right," he said, "but I'm not sure I'll ever have the energy to carefully mentor my clientele like you do."

"I don't mentor them, I just inform them of the risks, and help them weigh their decisions! I take my job seriously."

"So do I, but even I don't give the clients the same careful instructions you do, Kagome," Sango said. "You've just got a gift, I guess."

"Thanks Sango."

"Yes, my dear Sango is so kind, isn't she?" Miroku said, "Won't you come on a magic carpet ride with me, Sango?"

"Why do I feel like that's not really what you're asking?" Sang said warily, shifting slightly away from him.

"Because he's a pervert," Inuyasha said, reaching past Kagome for a snack.

"You could just ask me to pass you one, you know," Kagome said, handing it to him.

"So what was your last client like, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked.

"They were fine, they wished for the usual, fortune, fame, land. They didn't listen much to my warnings, but they rarely do."

"I wish people would come up with more creative wishes once in awhile," Sango said.

"I had a guy wish he could talk to dogs once," Inuyasha said.

"Why just dogs?" Miroku asked.

"I dunno, but he gave his last two wishes to his dog, or so he said. He had to make them of course."

"What did it wish for?" Miroku asked.

"Infinite sausage and beef." The group laughed.

"That's weirder than any client I've ever had," Sango said.

"None of mine have ever been so strange," Miroku said.

"Someone once asked me for the ability to breathe underwater," Kagome mentioned.

"Now that's just cool," Miroku said. "Think of everything they could do!"

"Maybe they were a fisherman," Sango suggested. "That ability would be useful for a fisherman."

"I wouldn't know, I don't even remember his other wishes."

"I bet he lost the ability to breathe air," Inuyasha put in. "He didn't specify that he should be able to keep breathing air, did he, so he probably became wholly aquatic."

"I didn't even think of that!" Kagome said, "that would be so terrible."

"Unless that was his intention," Inuyasha scoffed. "Maybe he hated his wife and couldn't think of any other way to get away from her."

"Don't be so mean, Inuyasha!"

"It seems a little extreme just to get out of an unhappy marriage," Sango replied.

"And it pretty much ruins his chances of meeting anyone else," Miroku said.

"Unless he meets a mermaid," Kagome said, "they exist in the human realm right?"

"I think so," Miroku said, "mermaids can travel freely between realms, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of them live in the human realm."

"So the guy hates his wife, wishes to live underwater, meets a mermaid and lives happily ever after," Inuyasha started. "That sounds like one of those dumb romance novels Kagome reads."

"Hey they are not dumb!" Kagome protested! "They're beautiful works of art."

"You're trying to tell me that one book _Sparkle_ isn't trashy?"

"No well, that one actually is really trashy," Kagome admitted. "But you can't even write trashy novels so be nice!"

"What would I want to write trashy novels for?" He shot back.

"Millions of dollars when the book hits the bestseller list," Miroku said. "I read that one, and the author is loaded now."

"How? It's terrible!"

"I think that's the point," Sango said. "And I've read worse, Inuyasha. Compared to that author's debut work _Darkness_ , _Sparkle_ is practically classic."

"I don't believe you," Inuyasha said. "There's no way it can get any worse than that 'Sparkle' book."

"I haven't read _Darkness_ ," Kagome said, "do you have a copy, Sango?"

"Yeah you can borrow it."

"Hey!" Miroku protested, "I quite liked _Darkness_!"

"Miroku," Inuyasha said, "exactly how much trashy fiction do you read?"

"More than me," Sango informed him.

"And me," Kagome said.

"Unbelievable."

"Oh _come on_ , Inuyasha," Kagome said. "You love trashy novels too. You _cried_ when I read _Eagle's Nest_ to you."

"I did _not!_ "

"I wouldn't blame you if you had, Inuyasha," Miroku said. "That one was a real tear-jerker."

"I did _not_ cry, and if I was it was out of boredom."

" _Sure_ it was, Inuyasha," Sango said. "Just admit it."

"Never."

"I saw _Chocolate Roses_ on your bedstand last night," Kagome commented casually, not bothering to conceal her smirk.

"Kagome you traitor!"

" _Chocolate Roses,"_ Miroku said, eyebrows raised. "That one is pretty… graphic, Inuyasha. I feel as if I know you a little bit too well now."

"I thought it was about chocolate!" Inuyasha protested, his face coloring, "how was I supposed to know it was going to be so… so _weird._ "

"Is it really that bad? I read the reviews and thought is wasn't for me," Kagome said. "I don't even know where you got it."

"I stole it from Miroku," Inuyasha said. "I thought it was gonna be like a cookbook or something, and then I was reading it and couldn't stop. It was like a train wreck, I couldn't look away."

"You stole it from Miroku and didn't expect it to be filthy?" Sango asked.

"Bad move," Kagome said.

"I resent the implication!" Miroku said.

"Yeah, yeah," Sango said. "You're an upstanding citizen of good moral standing," Sango said sarcastically.

"At least we like the same trashy novels."


End file.
